Life, with all its pains and pleasures ultimately withers and ends.  Its not so much what we have accomplished, saved, and have gotten-even with, but how we will be remembered…

and after all its sins and sacrifices, it is also how we would be forgiven…

"Leave Out All The Rest"

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I’m done here

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Don’t be afraid
I’ve taken my beating
I’ve shared what I made

I’m strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I’ve never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you’re asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
[End Chorus]

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You’ve learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don’t resent me
And when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You’ve learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are
I can’t be who you are

I’ve never had a chance to actually be as good a ball player as I wished I could be. Back in high school, I tried my best to cover up the fact that I’ve only learned how to dribble the ball two years before I finished intermediate. But in all that time, I fancied watching the game; Commenting and analyzing the way it’s played, cheering for hoop heroes and cursing dirty players. After all, it’s hard to escape the fact that all of my brothers have joined small-town leagues and have accumulated accolades playing the game. Watching basketball has always been a family affair, and one that doesn’t always end up as well as we’d hope for. More often than not, we’d find ourselves divided between ideologies; Crispa or Toyota, the Beermen or Ginebra (both pre and post Jaworski eras), and even Detroit or the Spurs. In all those times I’ve noticed how different they have viewed the game. After all, unlike me, they have always played it in a competitive way. While I would have to content myself in articles, televised games, and commentaries to draw objective conclusions regarding heated topics such as, who should have won the finals? Who should a team get in the draft? Who should a team trade? Should they even trade, who should they trade for? Who should have been MVP?

Until the middle of 2004, I’ve never had any favorite team in particular… until the time the Small-ballin’ Suns started making headlines on a game dominated by size. Being a rebel myself, I’ve admired their view of playing against the flow. Of neutralizing your inadequacies (size) by capitalizing on what you have (speed).  The suns system of small ball differs from any other team seemingly running small ball. Don Nelson’s philosophy in particular is more of a loose system. Hard to read, with the chaos they are wreaking, and thus effectively draining the energy of their opponents.  The Sun’s however, are more of a calculated type of small ball. From theory to application, from practice to the actual game, you can see why their system is meant only to be played by them. They score more because they shoot a ridiculous amount of times. They don’t seemingly focus on half court offense because they push the ball faster, because they have a 7-second shot clock in their practices. And they can run, because they were trained to run. They move up and down the court more times than any team in the league. More possessions meant more opportunities to score. Rather than focusing on the rebounding wars to increase the number of times a team would take possession of the ball.  On a world dominated by a rule, they were the ones who literally went around that rule. Notice that the tenses on the last line is on the past… for they have just raised the flag and bent on the same set of rules they were trained to go around with… trained to solve given the handicap. And they were doing it quite fairly since they are (that I’m not sure since they are currently playing without an essential part of the system, more on that later) still at the top of the West. 

The run and gunnin’ Phoenix Suns have just traded their feared and coveted "swiss-army knife" Shawn "the Matrix" Marion (along with Marcus Banks), for the lumbering "shadow of himself" Shaq "Has-been Deisel" O’neal.

Many have speculated that this was a direct response to the Lakers acquiring Gasol for 10 bucks and a red balloon, their loss to a Parker-less Spurs, and their shameful performance against top-tier West teams. But that was beside the point. Sun Tzu once said that "no country has ever benefited from a protracted war", and I fear that this team is on the verge of not benefiting from this transaction.  The Phoenix Suns have made their point, have almost outran teams towards the championship that it took two controversial suspensions to derail their campaign.  They even sent Kurt Thomas to Seattle to shed out his 8-mil, and for what? To take in the Diesel’s 20-mil up to 2010?

As a non-conformist, as a spectator with no particular favorite, it took alot of innovation to have me pick out a favorite NBA team, given the difficulties of following the games in a Southeast Asian country… and I think, now that they have fallen out of my favor, it would take a championship for them to get my enthusiasm up again…

Silently though, I wish they do…

(See also this article by ESPN columnist J.A. Adande… We share the same sentiments…

Guys hate sluts even though
they
have sex with them!
(oh yeah..you’re not "popular" if
you’ve slept with more than 6
guys..you’re a HOE)

1.–Guys may be flirting around all day
but before they go to sleep, they
always think about the girl they truly
care about.

2.–Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

3.–Guys will do anything just to get
you to notice him

4.–Guys hate it when you talk about
your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.

5.–Boyfriends need to be reassured
often that they’re still loved.

6.–Don’t talk about your guy friends
to
your boyfriend.

7.–Guys get jealous easily.

8.–Guys are more emotional than they’d
like people to think.

9.–Giving a guy a hanging message
like "You know
what?!..uh…nevermind.." would make
him jump to a conclusion that is far
from what you are thinking. And he’ll
assume he did something wrong and
he’ll obsess about it trying to figure
it out.

10.–Guys are good flatterers when
courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.

11.–A usual act that proves that the
guy
likes you is when he teases you.

12.–Guys love you more than you love
them if they are serious in your
relationships.

13.–Guys think WAY too much. One small
thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t
notice it can make the guy think about
it for hours, trying to figure out
what it meant.

14.–Guys seek for advice from girls
not
other guys. Because most guys think
alike, so if one guy’s confused, then
we’re all confused.

15.–When a guy asks you to leave him
alone, he’s just actually
saying, "Please come and listen to me."

16.–If a guy starts to talk seriously,
listen to him. It doesn’t happen that
often, so when it does, you know
something’s up.

17.–If your best guy friend seems to
avoid you or is never around when
you’re with your boyfriend, he’s
probably jealous and likes you.

18.–When a guy tells you that you are
beautiful, don’t say you aren’t. It
makes them want to stop telling you
because they don’t want you to
disagree with them.

19–When a guy looks at you for longer
than a second, he’s definitely
thinking something.

20–Guys don’t like girls who punch
harder than they do.

21–A guy has more problems than you
can
see with your naked eyes.

22–Don’t be a snob. Guys can be
intimidated and give up easily.

23–Guys talk about girls more than
girls talk about guys.

24–Guys hate rejection, but they hate
being led on even more.

25–If you are going to reject a guy,
just do it. Don’t say they are like a
brother or just good friends, it just
hurts even more. Tell them that you
aren’t interested in a relationship
and they will respect you.

26–Guys really think that girls are
strange and have unpredictable
decisions and are MAD confusing but
somehow are drawn even more to them.

27–When a guy sacrifices his sleep and
health just to be with you, he really
likes you and wants to be with you as
much as possible.

Been a bum for months now, but these times of ease and bliss would soon be replaced by nights and days of painful self-growth that’s long been overdue…

Yet, in the middle of my stagnant undead, A Perfect Circle’s music has been the background to which I draw sanity from the nagging insanity brought about by this blinding glare of a gift they call life. Its been a while since I last listened to the entire "Mer De Noms” album, strangely since I should have all the freakin’ free time in the world! But though I always skip tracks and put "3Libras" on repeat, this song, amazingly stood out from the pack, that even as I am tappin the keys for this blog, I can’t seem to keep myself from mumbling its lyrics…

The song…               MAGDALENA

(And you thought this blog would be any different…hehehehehe)

Enjoy.

MAGDALENA
A Perfect Circle
Mer De Noms Album

overcome by your
moving temple
overcome by this
holiest of altars
so pure
so rare
to witness such a lovely goddess

I lost my self control
beyond compelled to throw this dollar down
before your
holiest of altars

I’ll sell
my soul
my self esteem
a dollar at a time

for one chance
one kiss
one taste of you my Magdalena

I’ve bared witness
to this place, this lair, so long forgotten
so pure, so rare, to witness such a lovely goddess

and I’d sell
my soul
my self-esteem a dollar at a time

I was recently asked a question by a “not-so-sober" acquaintance
about something personal… my hair.. Actually, there shouldn’t be anything
special about it… and by God, nothin to be upset about, but what really got
into my nerves was the manner in which it was asked… The dork’s friends on
around the session table weren’t actually excited to hear the answer… rather,
one of them was reluctant, and even attempted to halt the inquirer about his
most irrelevant inquiry… Funny thing is, they, shifted topic, almost in
unison, after blowing up the question… I mean.. Come on!! If you would have
the decency to talk behind other pipz back, don’t you at least have the
presence of mind to not make it that obvious?! 

This, ladies and gents, is what’s wrong with society! People who don’t really get you, usually,
would not bother to know you in a decent manner. What these folks do, is talk, blabber, try
their hardest to convince other pipz about the inherent, often hidden evil
inside those that they chose to pariah! Even goin’ as far as make you a
household topic, ready to be plucked out of their shelves, and share their
dirty thoughts with "session mates", and educate, impartial thinkers
of how cool it is to HATE THAT PERSON!  

What’s sad about it is that most of the times, they hurt the
people that would really like to be in good terms with them, but are just too
"different" for their tastes. Is this a triumph of Machiavellian reasoning?
That people are inherently capable of evil, unless proven otherwise? Is it really
man’s nature to spawn hate, against those that they do not understand?

What’s sadder than the willingness of the offended to be in
good terms with their blabber mouthed offenders is that, sometimes, someone
would come along, unbiased and pure of thought, and would even offer friendship
to weird neighbor. But time and time again, THE CULT OF HATERS would get to
that person, and actually manage to alter that person’s way of thinking…

STAIND

"Right Here"

I know I’ve been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I’ve made
I’ve got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I’d still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you’re not intending
To be so condescending it’s as much as i can take
and you’re so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I’d still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I’ve made a commitment
I’m willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

Why can’t you just forgive me
I don’t want to relive all the mistakes I’ve made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting